Trash Humans a New Year

It’s 5:11 AM on a Sunday morning and I can’t sleep. According to my doctor, I’m a true insomniac. And no, I don’t want your helpful remedies. I’ve tried the essential oils/glass of red wine/white noise machine/pharmaceutical intervention and none of it has worked. I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll always be slightly tired and cranky. It’s just become part of my personality and probably what makes me so dang loveable some days.

I’ve tried writing this blog post twice before and every time I write, I just start raging against humanity. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation or maybe it’s the fact that humans really are trash, but I just can’t help it. Every time I go on social media, I am sure that there are aliens riding past Earth in their little spaceships saying, “Don’t stop there. That’s a messed up place.” Everyone has a different opinion and everyone thinks their opinion is correct. I see people posting all sorts of things about how they are for/against a certain belief then shaming people who are of a different opinion. My personal favorites the people who post Bible verses about how Jesus says to be kind then post about how so-and-so is stupid because they have a different belief. (Jesus is rolling his eyes at you.) Another trend I’ve noticed lately is how people have to make a post or story about how they are unfollowing/unsubscribing from someone or something because they are “idiots” – i.e. don’t have same opinions. Every time I see this, I want to comment, “This is not an airport. You don’t have to announce your departure.” You can simply unfollow someone without telling the entire world or your 249 friends on Facebook. In a face to face conversation, someone asked me about my political stance and my response was, “I can offend both parties in single day.” I don’t really care what party my friends voted for (unless they come to tell me that they’re morally superior to me). I’m more concerned with the kinds of snacks they have at their house if I were to stop over.

Rant aside, it’s now 2022. I told my husband my only resolutions this year were to eat more chips and finish the Modern Family series on Peacock. I don’t want to set the bar too high. In addition, all of the other resolutions seem boring. I could make some resolutions about getting into shape and becoming more financially secure, but I’m doing those anyway so why try to make a big deal about it now? I’ve decided 2022 is a year to take things as they come and try to be open to changes that may happen. Well, most changes. I’m not open to the changes I’ve been seeing in my face but I have an appointment with a nurse injector for that. The last two years have taught me that time marches on and it’s mostly marching across my face. Maybe my resolution should be to check social media less often as it turns me from “Best Self Kari” into “Hold My Beer Kari”.

Trash humans and wrinkles aside, 2021 was a pretty good year. My work was more stressful than ever, but I’m lucky enough to work with some truly kind (the real kind, not the ones mentioned above!) and fun people. Friends and family came to Arkansas to visit us and we had so much fun showing them around Little Rock (meaning that we mostly just took them to Local Lime for spicy margaritas and giggled a lot). I got to see my college roommate for the first time since March 14, 2020 (aka- the weekend the world imploded). My husband ran his personal best marathon time at the Little Rock Marathon. I spent Thanksgiving weekend at my parent’s house and when I posted a pic to my Instagram story, a friend sent me a message saying, “It looks like you’re in a Hallmark movie”. My brother and sister in law announced they are going to have a baby girl and she’s due to arrive any day now! I spent a lot of time with my neighbors who have become some of my closest friends. My oldest stepdaughter got engaged and is getting married this summer. (Sidenote: I know everyone says the little kid stage is the best but I REALLY like having teenaged and adult stepkids. I relate to them more and I don’t have to worry as much about all of the inappropriate things I say.) A lot of good things happened in 2021 and I’m looking forward to the events of 2022. Who knows? Maybe I’ll win the lottery and do something meaningful with it. Probably not. I’d just build an obnoxious house and get a bunch of plastic surgery.

I can’t believe I’m five paragraphs in and haven’t mentioned Betty White’s death. I’ve loved her for years and I’m so sad she’s gone. She was an example of someone who was kind and generous but also had a backbone and wasn’t afraid to put someone in their place. And she was funny! Now I’m just worried that 2022 will take Dolly Parton and if that happens, I will completely lose my shit. If I haven’t lost it already. Maybe my New Year’s resolution should be to show some restraint….

** I think it’s pretty obvious that I don’t get paid for this but I’m supposed to state it anyway.**

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